funnyness

Oh, now here is a thing that makes me crack myself up: click

To whoever posts in that thing: you're genius!

back on track

right?

whores

I hate you so much. I think they should all die choked with cum and get aids, gonorrhea and herpes at the same time. Or just reciprocally shoot themselves. I hope they get crushed to death by an elephant; Lit themselves on fire or something. I hope they all get so fucked until they die one day. Freaking bitches.. why don't you become a prostitute so at least you can make money out of it. I hate all of them, especially you. Seriously, just fucking use your mouth to eat and your pussy to pee. SLUT!

...

Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us
With our winning smiles, and us
With our catchy tunes, and us
Now we're photogenic
You know, we don't stand a chance

Oh, I'll settle down with some old story
About a boy who's just like me
Thought there was love in everything and everyone
You're so naive!
They always reach a sorry ending
They always get it in the end.
Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then
With a winning smile, the boy
With naivety succeeds
At the final moment, I cried
I always cry at endings

Oh, that wasn't what I meant to say at all
From where I'm sitting, rain
Washing against the lonely tenement
Has set my mind to wander
Into the windows of my lovers
They never know unless I write
"This is no declaration, I just thought I'd let you knowgoodbye"
Said the hero in the story
"It is mightier than swords
I could kill you sure
But I could only make you cry with these words"

So this is how my day started:

Phone rings at 9am, I go answer it and it's a guy calling from a store at the mall I never go shopping at. He calls me to let me know I don't go to the their shop and asks why.

OK. Are YOU letting me know I don't go to your store? Dude, I know I don't!!! Let me tell you something... People don't have a reason for not going to your store if they have never been in there. Why do you call random number at 9 in the morning asking why they don't go shopping in your store? Sorry but it's a little retarded... Why don't you think about making a catalog instead? Or I don't know, buy a billboard or something, put a commercial on TV. Do you really think people want to talk to you over the phone? I mean, we work too! What kinda boss do you have? Does he really pay you to call people all day? Or is it you who gets really bored working there and just starts calling people!? Guess what.. I don't care about your new summer clothes! And I'm totally not going to your shop if I need them. Plus if you are losing your customers (which makes me think you are incredibly desperate) that's not a good way to make new ones. Is the rent getting expensive? Is your comission getting lower? Try out some marketing classes.. they might help.

From online conversations..

yes - not mad at all
yes! - getting mad
YES - kinda mad
YES! - mad
YES!!!!!!!!!!! - really mad
OH YES!!!!!!! - horny

Just add the "oh" in front of everything to make it sound good.

you people...

My city doesn't change. Last Saturday I decided to go downtown to take some pictures and walk around to see what is new. Surprisingly all the shops, bars, book stores, churches (...) that I remember are still in the same place, so is everything else. When I say everything else I mean all the weird people that are still around there. The last time I was here people would do anything to get your attention even if you are just going out to do errands NOT wanting to be bothered. I'm gonna have to mention some of them:

* Those freaking Hare Krishna people. O-M-G! They always try to make you buy one of the books about 'whatever-they-believe-in'. Actually they don't try, they pretty much force you to. I'm sick of them. Why do they dress like that anyway? They look like a bunch of homos going to a yoga class. I even went to their "temple" one day for a college project. When I got there I was greeted with a nice welcome, people were friendly and cheerful until they start forcing me to stay in the circle and sing "Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama" for at least 35 times with them. I was only there for a project as I said, but the Hare Krishna lady promised she would give me some vegetarian food at the end so I stayed. I was held captive for the longest 30 minutes of my whole life when I just couldn't handle it anymore and went back home - with no food. It was like a class, a torture class, about Krishna beliefs that I don't care about!!! All I wanted was someone to answer my questions as I usually do to them when they stop me on the streets. Krishna people - you and your stupid religion, GO FIND A JOB!

* Ok hippies, your turn! First of all, no, I don't want to buy one of those ugly bracelets you always make me look at. Second, why do you always put your shit on the ground right in front of the most famous structures we have in the city? I came out of my house to take a picture of that very interesting structure you are blocking.... but now all I have are pictures of you people playing your stupid guitars right in front of it. Great. That's awesome. I can print them now and maybe decorate my hippie tent with some hippie flowers and a hippie "love and peace" sign. Lastly and most important - you really stink! Dudes, common we are in 2009 already. People shower everyday now. Make a time machine out of your bracelets and move back to the 60's, please.

(awesome)

* To finish my collection of my most hated people, I didn't forget the gypsies. Oh yeah, even if I wanted to I could not forget you folks because you have your TENT sitting in the way of everywhere I want to go. What are you people? A mix between drunk homeless people and pirates that didn't have enough money to buy a pirate ship? Do you even have any money to buy anything at all? How do you wash your clothes? Because I always see them drying on the top of a barbed wire fence. Plus, do you really think you are psychic? I can't believe you are stupid enough to think you can palm read or see my future through a crystal ball. That only happens in cartoons, trust me. I have absolutely no idea how you came to the world but it's time to be normal and just buy a clothes line already. No offense.

Just to end my post this is the only good picture I took on the entire day:

Thank God the pretty flowers are at least still there.